playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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