i was born a porn star she said
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
