Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
