thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
