my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
