we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
