Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
