i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
