Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
