I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
