I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
