Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
