is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
