the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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