Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
There are leaves in my underwear?
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