Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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