We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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