So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
