It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
