Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
