there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
