He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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