But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize