nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
