oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize