I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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