i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
