Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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