worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
