So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
there is glitter all over my balls
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