guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize