I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
