i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
