Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize