Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
