went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize