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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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