Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
