I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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