New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
