between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
