he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
