Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
