the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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