Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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