Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
