Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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