we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
