So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
