okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
