Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I touched a dick in church today
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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