**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it hurts more in the daytime
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
