you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize