I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
