gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
