Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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