It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
