its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
