do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
