you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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