You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
