he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
