I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i would one night stand the shit outta him
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
