he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
