i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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