sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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