I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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